10 Things Every Woman Should Know About Her V-Jay-Jay

1.     What most people call the vagina is actually the vulva. The vulva is the outside part of the female genitalia including the labia, the clitoris, the urethra, the vaginal opening etc. The vagina on the other hand is the muscular passageway that connects the vulva to cervix i.e. the neck of the womb.

2.     There is no such thing as a standard vulva. They all come in different shapes and sizes.

3.     When aroused the vagina actually doubles in length. This is known as vaginal tenting. The muscular tension in the vagina increases when aroused, this increased tension causes the uterus (womb) to be drawn upwards thereby increasing the length of the vagina. (Pretty cool huh!)

4.     Not all women are born with hymens. (Yeah that’s right you read it right). So you can’t actually determine whether or not a woman is virgin by doing a hymen check. And for those that do, the hymen varies in thickness and amount of coverage.

5.     Many factors can impact how wet you are able to get. Including birth control pills, breastfeeding and menopause because they can affect your oestrogen levels which is partially linked to the vagina’s ability to lubricate.

6.     To increase your chances of having an orgasm, mix it up in bed. Combine a variety of sex acts in one session such as penetration + oral + finger.

7.     Your vagina is actually self-cleaning. That’s the purpose of your vaginal discharge. So there really is no need for you to douche or use harsh soaps down there, which can cause pelvic inflammation and bacterial vaginosis or some other nasties.

8.     You shouldn’t have penetrative sex for at least 6 weeks after childbirth regardless of mode of delivery. This will help avoid infection and allows enough time for your vagina to heal. But penetrative sex is not the only type of sex, get creative. Checkout my earlier post on types of orgasms(http://junesecrets.blogspot.co.uk/2015/08/11types-of-female-orgasms-bet-you-didnt.html )

9.     The vagina is slightly tilted at about a 130 degree angle. This is why, for those who wear tampons, you have to insert your tampons by aiming them at your back. This changes with time though, flattening a little as we age. So penetrative sex will be different after menopause. I wonder if that means the G spot will shift as well, (http://junesecrets.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/a-guide-to-help-women-play-their-role_2.html), so might have to find other positions that help you achieve orgasm, hmmmm, that's one thing to look forward to after menopause, a new vagina.

10.   Many women actually get things stuck in the vagina more often than you think. Usually tampons and condoms but sometimes other things like vibrators, container tops etc. (yeah I’m wondering as well, “how on earth???”), but no matter what it is you can’t actually loose anything in there. There’s nowhere for it to go, it will just remain at the top of the vagina until it is removed. If you have anything stuck that you can’t retrieve yourself then go to your doctor, its embarrassing, yes, but it will save you from infections, foul-smell and/or cuts to the vagina and/or cervix.

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Quotes That Make You Stop And Think!

·        Some people die at 25 and aren’t buried until 75 – Benjamin Franklin

·       I fear not the man who has practised 10,000 kicks, but I do fear the man who has practised one kick 10,000 times – Bruce Lee

·        A man may die, nations may rise and fall, but an idea lives on. – John F. Kennedy

·       Some cause happiness wherever they go, other whenever they go – Oscar Wilde

·        Have I not destroyed my enemy when I have made him into my friend? – Abraham Lincoln

·        Prejudices are rarely overcome by argument; not being founded in reason they cannot be destroyed by logic. – Troy Edwards

·       If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up the men to gather wood, divide the work and give orders. Instead, teach them to yearn for the vast and endless sea. – Antoine de Saint-Exupery

·       Most people are other people. Their thoughts are someone else’s  opinions. Their lives a mimicry. Their passions a quotation. – Oscar Wilde

·        Every man dies but not every man truly lives. – William Wallace

·       Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid. – Albert Einstein

·        Only when the last tree has died and the last river has been poisoned and the last fish been caught will we realize we cannot eat money. – Indian proverb

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Common Vaginal Problems: Trichomoniasis

What is it?

Trichomoniasis a.k.a. trich is a common sexually transmitted infection. Its is usually diagnosed by testing the vaginal fluid in a lab.

What causes it?

It is caused by a tiny parasite called trichomoniasis vaginalis.

What does it look like?

Men do not exhibit any symptoms and it could take 5 to 28 days after exposure for a woman to start exhibiting symptoms.

·        A greenish-yellow, frothy vaginal discharge with a strong smell.

·        Vaginal itching and irritation

·        Pain when urinating

·        Discomfort during sex

·        Lower abdominal pain

How can I get rid of it without meds?

Unfortunately you can’t rid of without medication but there are steps you van take to reduce the risk of infection including:

·        Limit the number of sexual partners you have, preferable to just one.

·        Don’t go back and forth between partners.

·        Use condoms

·        Don’t have sex until you’re clear of the infection.

Tried without meds but it’s still there

Oral or vaginal metronidazole is used to treat trich. You and your partner need to be treated at the same time to prevent reinfection.

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Mother-Daughter In-Law Relationship- From The Perspective Of A Daugther In-Law

Came across an incident yesterday that got me thinking. Can a mother-daughter in-law relationship ever be fixed after trust is broken? And why is it that there is this age-long feud between mothers in-law and daughters in-law? And can you really love your daughter in-law as your own child? Can you really love your mother in-law like your own mother?
It is the role of the man's family to make the his bride feel welcomed into the family. It is their job to embrace and make her feel loved  and wanted. It is only after she has been received with loved that she will start to trust you and warm to you. If this is not done from the start then the road ahead will be very bumpy.

My friend Anita and her mother in-law were good friends until Anita's husband stopped saying yes to his parents every request because he wanted to spend what he had on his growing family. The mother in-law turned on Anita so fast it was unbelievable. She would whisper things to Anita's husband about her and even the children to turn him against his family. She even went as far as trying to turn Anita's step mum against her. Anita's mother had passed away due to an illness. The whole family, not just the mother in-law turned on her with the mother in-law as the ring leader. Thankfully none of her plans worked but there was so much friction in the family that Anita's husband was forced to cut off from his family to protect his wife and children and his sanity.

After a few years there was reconciliation but Anita sees her mother in-law differently now and cannot relate with her as before even though the woman professes her change and tries to be friendly. She doesn't trust her not even with her children. She has tried to embrace her, for her husband's sake,  and says she has forgiven all but deep down inside she doesn't trust then and wants nothing to do with any of her in-laws . She says everyone says forgive and forget but once you've seen someone's ugliness can you really forget it or trust them not to make you a victim of that ugliness again. So now she keeps herself and children well away from the in-laws. Her distance means her children don't really know their father's side of the family. It also  affects her husband's relationship with his family.

I asked her if it was her own mother that had hurt her whether she would have the same response, and she said no, because the dynamic between a person and their own family is different to that with the in-laws. She knows her mother better than her mother in-law and knows her mother might hurt her but she would not do it on purpose because underneath it all she loves her because of the emotional connections whereas with the in-laws there are no such connections, so as far as she's concerned they meant to hurt her and destroy her marriage or at the very least make it so that she had no say in her own home and they could keep getting her husband to do what they wanted.

Basically it's a competition for the affections of the man where all gloves are off and anything goes and both parties get drawn into the competition somehow. Sometimes they get drawn in knowingly 
and other times, like in Anita's case, they unknowingly get drawn in by the other party and once 
drawn in you have to keep playing until one of you is dead.

This is because of a complex called the Oedipus complex. Was at a gathering recently and the speaker said its a bad idea for a couple to live with the in-laws particularly the man's family, because the mother will develop Oedipus complex. (Which is a deep affection for the parent or a child of the opposite sex. I.e between mother and son or daughter and father) For those of us that don't know who Oedipus is let me enlighten you. Many years ago in Greek mythology  a king and his pregnant wife were told that their unborn son would kill his father and marry his mother. So in a bid to stop the prophecy from coming true they left the baby in a forest to die. But a shepherd found him  and raised him as his own. When he grew up he became a warrior and one of the cities he conquered was his father's (unbeknown to him). He killed the king (his father) and took his wife (his mother) as his bride and was the custom in those days. The truth was later revealed after they had had 4 children together and the mother hanged herself and Oedipus gouged out his eyes.

This is probably an explanation for the age long feud between mothers in-law and daughters in-law.  Sadly I don't think anyone is immune from this complex, that is why we all have to conciously take steps to not put ourselves in situations that might cause us to display it. For instance, parents living or staying with their married son or daughter for long periods of time. Someone one said that for us ladies even if we lived with Jesus we would find something wrong with him, it's just our way.

There are some absolutely amazing mothers inlaw out there and I salute you all, you don't get enough acknowledgement. Sadly it's mostly the awful ones that tend to make the press, in a manner of speaking, because to be honest there are more of them. So to all

mothers out there with young sons remember how delicate this relationship is and tread very carefully so you don't loose your son and grandchildren. Once words are spoken they cannot be unspoken and once deeds have been done you might be able to undo them but not before they have left something behind. Loving and accepting your daughter inlaw should not be something you do based on how you feel about her, it should be something you do by choice. You say to yourself regardless of what she does or how she acts or whether I understand her or not or agree with her or not, I choose to love her because my son chose her. It really is that simple. You cannot love your daughter inlaw like your child, anyone who says they can is a darn liar, how can you? You didn't birth her, you didn't carry her as a baby, change her nappy and celebrate each milestone with her as she grew up. So how on earth are you going to sit there and say you can love her like your child? 
You can however treat her as fairly as you would like others to treat to treat your own child. Stop trying to be her mother, she's got one already, no matter what the situation someone birth her, her mama, so she's got a mother already. Just focus on being her mother in law and you will see your relationship blossom and learn of a different kind of love.

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Marriage: Its TeamWork Not Competitive Sport

Competitive Mindset ·       She/He needs to say I’m sorry before I’ll speak to her/him again. ·       I’m going to teach him a lesson, he’s definitely not “getting any” for a week.      I am right, I’m always right and he/she has to come round to my way of thinking even if I have to make ram it down her/his throat. ·       It’s my way or the highway ·       I am a better parent than she/he is. ·       I should have listened to my mother, she told me not to marry her/him. ·       This is outside our budget and a bit over the top but I’m going to buy it anyway and I don’t need to check in with her/him first after all it’s my money.    ·       I really don't like his/her family, I can’t stand them and I will not make any effort to get on with them.

Team Mindset ·       We need to talk and resolve the issue so we don’t go to bed angry. ·       I am not going to make him/her pay a price for not agreeing with me. Withholding sex is manipulative. ·       We don’t see this the same way so we will just agree to disagree.     I am willing to compromise and meet him/her halfway       We need to talk about our vision for our children so that we are on the same page when parenting them. Being critical of each other is bad for our home.     My marriage is blessed and I am with the person I am supposed to be with. He/she’s not perfect but neither am I. ·       I will just run this by him/her before I spend this amount of money to make sure its ok with them because regardless of who earns what its OUR money and I value his/her opinion. ·       His/ her family is part of who he/she is and I might not get on with them but I will at least make an effort for his/her sake.

 Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Common vagina problems explained: Bacterial Vaginosis (BV)

What is it?

BV is a common feminine condition in which there is a pH imbalance in the vagina, it is usually mistaken for thrush. Lactobacilli is a bacteria that is naturally present in the vagina and produces lactic acid. The lactic acid keeps the pH in the vagina low thereby keeping the number of bacteria in the vagina at a safe level. In BV there’s a temporary shortage of lactobacilli, which means the vagina is not as acidic as it should be and this allows other types of bacteria to grow. For some reason BV is more common in black women than women of other races. It is not classified as a sexually transmitted because it has not been know to present in men but best to 'close shop' until everything is as it should be.

What causes it?

The cause of BV is not entirely clear but certain factors increase the risk of it occurring including: 

·       Use of an IUD, intrauterine device, a.k.a the coil

·       Sexual intercourse with a new partner or multiple sexual partners

·       Use of vaginal deodorant

·       Douching

·       Use of scented soaps to wash  the vagina or underwear

What does it look like?

·       Discharge with a strong fishy smell especially after sexual intercourse

·       White or grey coloured discharge

·       Thin and watery discharge

How can I get rid of it without medication?

Unfortunately you cannot get rid of BV without medication.

Tried without meds but it’s still there

·       Vaginal pH correction treatment – This involves applying a gel containing lactic acid inside the vagina to lower the pH of the vagina and make it a more hostile environment  for harmful bacteria to flourish. Examples: Balance active, Canespro

·       Antibiotics – The main antibiotic for the treatment of BV is metronidazole taken for between 5 to 7 days. It can cause nausea and vomiting and a metallic taste in your mouth. It reacts very badly with alcohol so stay away from alcohol when on it unless you fancy a few days in hospital.

Copyright 2015

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11Types Of Female Orgasms - Bet You Didn't Think We Had So Many Types!!

I have always thought that women were short-changed in the orgasm department compared to men, that is until I discovered that we actually have the capacity to not only achieve multiple orgasms in one session but we can reach different types of orgasm. Here are 11 of them. They might not all be for you but think of how much fun you and your partner will have finding out which ones are. 

1. The Clitoral Orgasm:

This is the most common orgasm and is the result of clitoral stimulation. The clitoris is the most sensitive area on the female body, being one of the most nerve rich. When stimulated it is believed that 8,000 nerve fibers in the clitoris interact with 15,000 nerve fibers in the pelvic area resulting in an intense orgasm.  This intensely pleasurable feeling starts within the clitoris and sends waves of pleasure throughout the body.  If you are a guy, imagine ALL the nerve endings in the penis poured into one small area about the size of a pea. The clitoris is so important to receiving pleasure that sexual arousal is always felt there on some level. That is why the clitoris is so responsive to certain kinds of touch.

Sensitivity varies from woman to woman with some women needing a light touch and others requiring much stronger and firmer stimulation. For some women, it’s so sensitive that touching the clitoral glans directly is often uncomfortable and unbearable. After an orgasm, the clit may become extremely sensitive to the point of being painful so you might not want to be touched there for a while after.  

A clitoral orgasm can be very intense, but many women describe it as “less deep” than others.

2. The Vaginal Orgasm:

If there is a shorter distance than normal between the clitoris and the urethral meatus then it is easier to achieve this orgasm. Sadly only about 25% of women have this unique feature leaving the remaining75% of us unable to achieve a vaginal O. This kind of orgasm begins in the vagina and either stays focused in the pelvic and lower stomach areas, or spreads from there. The uterus, pelvic muscles, and even anus may begin to contract during this orgasm. Those contractions are quite strong and may actually push out anything that was stimulating the vagina. This kind of orgasm takes longer to achieve (it takes a woman on average 20-25 mins to achieve this kind of orgasm). Rhythmic thrusting is often the best way to achieve a vaginal orgasm.

Some women describe it as “less intense” than a clitoral orgasm, but more deeply felt. They feel it as a pressure that slowly grows and explodes deep inside the vagina. 

3. The G-Spot Orgasm

See my earlier post about the G spot (http://junesecrets.blogspot.co.uk/2015/05/a-guide-to-help-women-play-their-role_2.html). This spot feels different in texture than the rest of the vaginal wall. It is spongy and coarser in texture. This orgasm is very similar to male arousal. There are different ways of stimulating the G-Spot. Rhythmic pushing or circular friction movements are the best for achieving this kind of orgasm. One position that is good for reaching this sexual peak is from the back, doggy style. 

Note: Pressure on the G spot will produce a desire to pee so best to empty your bladder just before so when you do get the desire to pee you can just give into it and you just might be pleasantly surprised.

With this one you could get carried away for quite some time by the powerful wave of euphoric energy and forget where you are and what is going on around you.

4. Squirting Orgasm (Female Ejaculation)

Not a lot of women achieve this in their lifetime. A woman has to be very very very comfortable with her partner in order to achieve this. This kind of orgasm  could build a very deep bond between you and your partner. It is the most intimate and delightful thing you can share with your other partner.

This powerful orgasm is achieved by using ancient Tantric techniques (post for another day). It will help you release negative emotions and fill you with light, euphoric energy and a feeling of utter satisfaction. Squirting makes other kinds of female orgasms look pale in comparison.

5. The A–Spot Orgasm (The Anterior Fornix Orgasm)

This kind of orgasm is not for everyone. It is achieved by stimulating an area deep in the vagina (about 4-5inches) on the front wall. It is the same wall close to where the G-Spot is situated. In other words, this is a patch of sensitive tissue at the inner front end of the vaginal tube, between the cervix and the bladder.

Some women describe this orgasm as a kind of soft electricity bringing them to a sharp, erotic climax. Others find it very similar to the G-spot, while some find it closer to an extremely strong vaginal orgasm and other women simply don’t like it.

6. The Deep Spot Orgasm (The Posterior Fornix Orgasm)

Very few women have ever experienced deep spot orgasm. This type of orgasm is achieved by stimulating the area located almost all the way back in the deepest part of the back wall of the vagina, just before the cervix. Direct stimulation of the Deep Spot can cause very intense orgasms. Some women may feel as if they are having anal sex. You can achieve this with a finger, using “Come Hither” motions. Use both long and short strokes, or you can use two fingers if you like.

7. The U-Spot Orgasm

This kind of orgasm comes from the stimulation of a small area of sensitive erectile tissue located just above and on either side of the urethral opening. It is in the small area between the urethra and the vagina. If this region is gently caressed with the finger or the tip of the penis, there is a powerful erotic response. You stimulate this area the same way you treat the clitoris.

Almost every woman can achieve the orgasms above but there are more. These are less common and a woman’s sexuality is key to achieving these following ones.

8. The Breast Orgasm

This kind of orgasm occurs during a peak of stimulation to the breasts. The nipples connect to nerves in the female genitals and many women feel a direct connection with their clitoris when their nipples are stimulated. Many women feel increased sexual excitement when their nipples are stimulated but not all of them can experience the breast orgasm. This depends very much on how sensitive their nipples are.

9. The Oral Orgasm

Some women are very sensitive in their mouths and can reach orgasm when kissing or performimg oral sex on their partner.

10. The Skin Orgasm

This orgasm can be brought about by massaging certain areas of the female body that are not directly connected to the sexual nervous system. Examples include orgasms experienced by many women during sensual massages. 

11. The Mental Orgasm

This kind of orgasm can happen during visual and auditory stimulation. Examples of such stimulation are movies, videos, or sexual behavior exhibited in front of others. Women become so turned on that they can actually experience an orgasm from the excitement alone. So yes you could orgasm whilst sexting or having phone sex your partner.

There you have it, Happy experimenting.

Copyright June's secrets 2015

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