Things To Give Up If You Want To Be Happy!

 1.     Give up your need to always be right. “Would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy?” – June’s Secrets

2.     Give up on blaming others. “ A man can fall many times but he isn’t a failure until he starts to blame somebody else.” – John Burroghs
3.     Give up your limiting beliefs. “ A belief is not an idea held by the mind, it is an idea that holds the mind. – Elly Roselle

4.     Give up your need for control. (this is one is more for me). “By letting it go, it all gets done. The world is won by those who let it go. When you try and try, world is beyond winning.”-Lao Tzu
5.     Give up your self-defeating self-talk. “The mind is a superb instrument if used rightly, used wrongly, however, it becomes a ball and chain that keeps you from reaching your full potential” – June’s Secrets
6.     Give up the luxury of criticism. “Spend so much time improving yourself that you have no time left to criticize other.” – Christian D. Larsen
7.     Give up complaining. “You can complain that roses have thorns, or you can rejoice because thorns have roses.” -Ziggy.
8.     Give up the past. “Your past could either be your stepping stone into the future or a stumbling to stop your enjoying the future.”- June’s Secrets
9.     Give up your fears. “ The only thing we have to fear is fear itself.” Franklin Delano Roosevelt

10. Give up your excuses. “ 99% of failures come from people who have the habit of making excuses.”- George Washington Carver

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Common Vaginl Problems: Vaginismus

What is it?

This is the persistent involuntary tightening of the muscles of the vaginal wall due to spasms whenever penetration is attempted. It can feel mildly uncomfortable or it can be very painful. It could disrupt or completely stop your sex life, and can lead to distress, a loss of confidence and relationship problems. It may even prevent you starting a family. It can also make gynaecological and pelvic examinations very difficult or impossible.

What causes it?

The reason why vaginsmus occurs is not fully understood. It is usually linked to anxiety and fear of having sex. But it is unclear which came first. The condition or the anxiety.

Some women have vaginismus in all situations and with any object such as tampons, penis or a speculum for vaginal examination. Others have it only in certain circumstances, like with one partner but not others, or only with sexual intercourse but not with tampons or during vaginal exams.

Even though the cause is not known there are a few factors that are known to play a part in the development of vaginismus.

Factors can include:

·         Thinking the vagina is too small

·         Fear of pregnancy

·         Negative sexual thoughts such as thinking sex is painful and will cause damage

·         Previous sexual abuse

·         Painful first sexual experience

·         Relationship problems

·         Underlying infection

·         painful conditions of the vagina and surrounding area, such as vulvodynia (http://junesecrets.blogspot.co.uk/2015/09/common-vaginal-problems-vulvodynia.html )

·         damage to the vagina (for example, during childbirth)

What does it look like?

The main symptom of vaginismus is tightening of the vagina, which can make penetration difficult or even impossible. The symptoms and severity can vary from person to person. Whilst some women cannot insert anything at all into the vagina because it closes up completely, others can insert a tampon and even have a vaginal exam but cannot have penetrative sex and other are able to do both but the sex is very painful.

Painful sex is often a woman's first sign that she has vaginismus. The pain happens only with penetration. It usually goes away after withdrawal, but not always.

Other symptoms of vaginismus can include:

·         a burning or stinging pain when the vagina is penetrated

·         loss of sexual desire if penetration is attempted

The tightening of the vagina is involuntary and cannot be stopped. The body has learned to associate penetration with pain and, whenever penetration is expected, the vaginal muscles tighten as a protective reaction.

Women with vaginismus do like sex and want to engage in it. They enjoy closeness and share sexual pleasure with their partner. They can  even achieve orgasm during foreplay and oral sex. It's only when sexual intercourse is suggested or attempted that their vagina tightens to prevent penetration.

How can I get rid of it without meds?

Self-help techniques may be employed to treat the condition if a physical underlying cause has been ruled out. They include

·         Sex therapy to help address underlying psychological issues.

Vaginal Trainers available at Amazon via Nueras shopping mall

·         Vaginal trainers to help you relax the muscles in your vagina by gradually getting you used to having something inserted into it.

·         Relaxation and exploration (touching) exercises. Your therapist may teach you a technique called progressive relaxation. This involves tensing and relaxing different muscles in your body in a particular order. You can then practise tensing and relaxing your pelvic floor muscles before trying to insert your finger or a cone.

·         Pelvic floor exercises. http://junesecrets.blogspot.co.uk/search/label/Tio%20Balls/

·         Sensate focus. This is a type of sex therapy that you and your partner do together. It starts with you both agreeing not to have sex for a number of weeks or months. During this time, you can still touch each other, but not in the genital area (or a woman's breasts). The idea is to explore your bodies, knowing that you will not have sex. After the agreed period of time, you gradually start touching each other's genital areas, which should eventually build up to penetrative sex. 

Tried without meds but it’s still there.

Treatment of vaginismus with medication or even surgery will largely depend on what's causing it.If there is an obvious physical cause, such as an endometriosis, scar tissue from previous surgery, infection or oversensitive nerves at the opening of the vagina (provoked vulvodynia), these may be treated with medication or surgery.

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Rules For Marriage : Part Two

11. Always give each other a hug and a kiss before leaving the house.

12.Never keep secrets from each other.

13.When your other half speaks listen with your heart as well as your ears.

14.  Appreciate and keep replaying the good times, forgive and constantly choose to forget the bad ones.

15.Never say “Fine” or “it’s all my fault” if you really don’t mean it.

16.  Always sleep in the same bed every night even after an arguement.

17. Avoid talking about mistakes of the past.

18. Set out ‘us’ time every week.

19. Be sacrificial by going out of your way to do things for each other such as a husband watching a chick flick and a wife, who isn’t into football, watching football enthusiastically.

20.Read a few books about marriage together.

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Rules For Marriage: Part One

1. Never both be angry at the same time

2.Never yell at each other unless the house is on fire

3.If one of you has to win an argument, let it be your spouse

4.  If you have to criticise, do it lovingly and in private

5.No negative throwbacks. Never bring up mistakes of the past.

6. Neglect the whole world rather than each other

7. Never go to sleep with an argument unsettled

8. Pay your spouse a compliment at least once a day

9. When you have done something wrong, admit it and apologise

10.It takes two to make a quarrel successful and the one in the wrong is usually the one who does the most talking.

 Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Genius Hacks for Fixing Makeup Mistakes Every Woman Makes

Found this tutorial in Cosmopolitan on my travels.
1. Don't test new foundation shades on your cheek. The skin on your face, due to increased sun exposure or breakouts, isn't the same color as the rest of your body. So, if you match your foundation to your cheek, you might end up with a shade that doesn't match your neck and chest and doesn't look natural. Instead, swipe three shades of foundation right below your jawline, blend them in, and whichever shade disappears is the one you should choose.

2. Don't apply concealer before foundation. You'll just end up removing it as you apply your base. Instead, apply foundation before concealer. This way, you won't have to use as much concealer.

3. Don't apply foundation in upward strokes. Going against the grain of the little hairs on your face will make peach fuzz more visible by raising them up instead of smoothing them down. Instead, use your brush or sponge to pat the foundation on for a more airbrushed effect.
4. Don't use the same concealer to cover both under-eye circles and pimples. Your under-eye concealer, which should be a shade lighter than your skin tone, will highlight your pimple, not hide it. Instead, use a creamy cover-up that matches your skin perfectly to conceal blemishes.

5. Don't rely on just concealer when covering pimple scars. Instead, layer foundation, concealer, and setting powder to ensure the blemish is completely covered and the product won't budge.

6. Don't apply your concealer in a moon shape under your eye. Instead, draw a triangle shape to brighten the entire eye area.

7. Don't skip on moisturizer just because you have oily skin. This will dry your skin out and make it produce more oil. Instead, try an apple cider vinegar and water mixture, or green tea as a toner (both balance your skin's pH levels) before applying your moisturizer.

8. Don't use a cream moisturizer all over your face if you have oily skin. Instead, use a mattifying gel moisturizer on your T-zone and a cream moisturizer everywhere else.  This will fight shine while keeping your skin hydrated.

9. Don't use loose powder to fight an oily complexion. Too much powder can make your makeup look cakey. Instead, use a clear mattifier. Apply it before or after your makeup, and watch the shine disappear.

10. Don't skip oil-blotting your face. An oily T-zone can ruin a good photo. Instead, use a toilet seat cover in a pinch to dab up the extra shine.

11. Don't neglect to wash your brushes weekly. Your brushes gather germs and bacteria, and can cause breakouts. Instead, lightly rub a gentle face wash onto the bristles of your brushes and then rinse. The cleaner your brushes, the easier and better your makeup application will go on.

12. Don't apply black liner all around your eye and in your waterline. This will make your eyes appear much smaller than they are. Instead, line the top with black liner, the bottom with brown liner, and the waterline with nude liner to really open your eyes.

13. Don't pump your mascara. This pushes air into the tube, which can result in bacteria growth. Instead, scrape the end of the brush along the inside of the tube, and pull it out at an angle to grab a good amount of product while wiping off the excess.

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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Common Vaginal Problems: Vulvodynia

What is it?

This is a pain syndrome that is described as persistent, unexplained pain in the external female genital organs, including the labia, clitoris and vaginal opening. It can affect women of all ages but usually start in women younger than 25. Most sufferers are otherwise healthy and have no history of STI. Vulvodynia is not contagious and has nothing to do with personal hygiene. It is divided into 2 types

1. Unprovoked or generalised vulvodynia - this is vulva pain that is constant or that comes on spontaneously. It occurs in different parts of the vulva at different times. Touch or pressure may make it worse.

2.Pressure-provoked or vestibulodynia – this is pain in the vulva or vestibule ( where the vulva meets the vagina) that comes on when these areas are touched or pressure is applied, such as during sex or when inserting a tampon.

What causes it?

The cause is not known but a few theories have been put forward such as:

1.     Irritation or damage of the nerves around the vulva

2.     Oversensitivity of the nerve endings in the skin of the vulva

3.     Previous vulva surgery  

4.     Frequent antibiotic use

5.     History of sexual abuse

6.     Hormonal changes

7.     Allergies or irritation to chemicals

8.     Muscle spasms

9.     Hypersensitivity or yeast infections

10.  Genetic factors that make the vulva respond inappropriately to chronic inflammation

11.  Abnormal response in vulva cells to an infection or trauma

What does it look like?

The symptoms have been described as burning, stinging, rawness, aching, soreness, throbbing and itching. Some women have described the pain as knife-like or like acid being poured on the skin even though the outward appearance of the vulva might look normal, although sometimes it might appear swollen and a little inflamed. Vulvodynia symptoms can occur:

•All the time or just once in a while

•During activities such as exercise, intercourse, or walking -- or even while at rest

•While bicycling, inserting tampons, or even sitting

•In one specific area or throughout your entire vulva

How can I get rid of without meds?

There is no cure but there are some lifestyle changes you can make to help prevent and relieve your symptoms

•Wear 100% white cotton underwear, sanitary towels and tampons.

•Avoid scented hygiene products such as feminine wipes, bubble bath and soap – an emollient, such as aqueous cream or e45 is a good substitute for soap.

•Use petroleum jelly before swimming to provide protection from chlorine.

•Avoid activities like cycling and horseback riding that put prolonged pressure on the vulva.

•If sexual intercourse is painful, try to find a position that is comfortable (many women find that being on top is the most comfortable position).

•Try to reduce stress as high levels of stress can increase the pain of vulvodynia

•Use dermatologically approved detergent and don’t use fabric softener on panties.

•Use unscented toilet paper that’s soft and white or better still use unscented flushable toddler wipes..

•Avoid getting shampoo on the vulvar area.

•Avoid perfumed creams or soaps, pads or tampons, and contraceptive creams or spermicides.

•Rinse the vulva with cool water after urination and intercourse.

•Wear loose-fitting pants and skirts; don’t wear pantyhose.

Tried without meds but it’s still there.

·        Local anaesthetics – applying 5% lidocaine ointment to the vulva 10 minutes before sex can make sex more comfortable. Beware, lidocaine can sometimes irritate vulva, also if you are using a condom then wipe off the lidocaine before sex because it can cause the condom to break.

·        Vaginal lubricants and moisturisers.

·        Oestrogen cream

·        Tricyclic antidepressants – these have been known to give some women relief from their symptoms but can cause drowsiness, constipation, weight gain and dry mouth as side effects. Examples include amitriptyline and nortriptyline. They have to be taken under medical supervision.

·        Anti-epileptic meds like gabapentin and pregabalin.

·        Nerve blocks

·        Interferon injections

Copyright June's Secrets 2015

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